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Globally, almost one in three women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both, at least once in their life. And one woman or girl is killed every 10 minutes by their intimate partner or family.
United Nations
I vividly recall a coaching conversation with a senior male leader, working through his Parenting Legacy, and the moment of quiet honesty that emerged. He said:
“I want to be the kind of father and partner my family can be proud of. But I never learned how to talk about feelings. I’m afraid I’ll get it wrong.”
He didn’t need a lecture. He needed space - and permission - to take off the armour he’d been taught to wear since childhood.
Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, marking the beginning of 16 Days of Activism. And as we #OrangeTheWorld, this is where our conversation must begin: with the armour that keeps too many men distant, ashamed, silent - and alone.
🔶Digital spaces: where armour becomes aggression
This year’s UN theme - Ending Digital Violence Against All Women and Girls calls us to confront a growing frontier of harm.
Online, violence is amplified through anonymity and the absence of empathy:
- image-based abuse
- deepfake pornography
- AI-generated harassment
- doxxing
- stalking
- misogynistic networks
Jesuit Social Services’ Adolescent Man Box study (2025) found that boys socialised to suppress emotion and avoid “weakness” were significantly more likely to engage in digital harassment, hold violence-supportive attitudes, consume violent pornography, and feel lonely and disconnected.
The study also reinforces something essential: language matters.
Matt Tyler, Executive Director and co-author, puts it plainly:
“It’s very hard to connect with, build relationship with, or motivate change in people you’re putting on the back foot. We don’t use terms like ‘toxic masculinity’ - it shuts boys down. If we’re going to make progress, we need to start with strengths, values, and how boys want to live their lives.”
He’s right. Shame closes doors. Strengths-based engagement opens them.
🔶 Intergenerational disruption: rewriting the inheritance
Violence is intergenerational.
So is silence.
But so is courage.
So is emotional literacy.
So is grace.
A man who has never been invited into vulnerability cannot teach it.
A father who has only known shame cannot model safety.
A boy rewarded only for toughness learns to bury tenderness until it becomes anger, numbness, or harm.
Jim Morrison captured this truth:
“There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution inside.”
Every Parenting Legacy conversation is a personal revolution waiting to happen.
When a father names his values - out loud, clearly, proudly - he disrupts inherited expectations.
His children see a different way of being.
His partner experiences deeper connection.
His colleagues witness a different kind of leadership.
This is how prevention begins — not through battle, but through belonging.
At Grace Papers, we see it every time a father realises that no-one has ever asked him who he wants to be - only what he must provide. Parenting Legacy gives men a pathway into emotional clarity, purpose and connection.
Grace is the bridge between where men are and who they can become. Grace is not leniency - it is what makes accountability possible.
🧡 Orange the World - by building bridges, not battlelines
The idea of a “battle of the sexes” is corrosive. Nobody wins a gender war.
Every gain for women can unlock new possibility for men:
- Flexibility for mothers frees fathers to parent
- Dismantling stereotypes opens healthier pathways for boys
- Safer workplaces benefit everyone
So as we honour the Mirabal sisters and decades of activism, here is the invitation:
- Wear orange - and model care
- Make space for boys to talk about emotions, respect and online behaviour
- Ask men what they need to feel connected, not just strong
- Interrupt digital abuse when you see it
- Support fathers to take parental leave and share care
- Use language that invites boys and men in
- Lead workplaces where vulnerability is a leadership strength
🧡 Orange the World - with compassion and connection
We cannot create a safer world for women without creating a freer world for men.
A world where men can:
- express emotion without shame
- seek help without judgement
- parent with pride
- build relationships on vulnerability, not perfection
- act with empathy online and offline
- live according to values instead of roles
- choose their legacy, not inherit it
This is not a battle. It is a bridge. And bridges are built with empathy, reflection, courage - and grace.
🔶A call to organisations: prevention can start with fathers
If you want safer workplaces and communities, invest in the transformation that happens when men connect with their values:
👉 Empower new fathers with coaching
👉 Integrate Parenting Legacy into parental leave
👉 Equip men to lead with care - at home and at work - with paid parental leave
Because when men are free to feel, women are free to live. When boys feel valued, girls grow up safe. And when we lead with grace, we build a world worthy of all our children.
With grace,
Prue 🧡
Published 25 November 2025
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